Did Christmas Have Everyone Swiping Right Extra Hard Or Was It Just Me?

Normally, I don’t let people’s “happy family” social media posts bother me. The truth of the matter is that often times, those pictures are an isolated snapshot of a life that likely isn’t as rosy as their litany of photos would lead on. This is not to say that everyone is social media fake. I know some people whose lives are even rosier than what they portray on social media…but we know that isn’t everyone. However, I didn’t come here to relationship bash, so I digress.

I also have tried to not let quarantine and covid drive me to make decisions that I wouldn’t normally do. On the other hand, I spent 2 hours the other night debating entering 2021 sexually abstinent, and wondering if abstinence does or does not include masturbation.

Side note: there is a difference between celibacy and abstinence.

However, on Christmas Day this year, I was lounging on my couch, and after about 20 minutes of the many “look at my ridiculously happy family in our matching pajamas” and several “They said yes’” I found myself swiping right extra hard on the dating apps.

I’d previously deleted Tinder, and was down to using OKCupid, and Hinge…but oh no, the holidays has us full bore on the relationship hunt, and now both Tinder and Bumble are back in play.

Now, I have stopped and asked myself, “is this just a covid thing?”

And I can honestly say the answer is no. Mid-2019 I made a conscious effort to spend more time engaging in potential dating…aka, engaging in potential dates, which was hard prior to a global pandemic. It was like the hunger games before our country had a running body count tally…now…man, now w'e’re on some Mad Max shit I feel like.

Everyone is looking at the screen thinking “if I’m going to die, is this the person I want to serve me the bad dose?”

How do you make any headway in that climate?

I actually had a date last week. It was pleasant. It was outdoors, we wore masks, and socially distanced. We hugged at the end (with masks on) and exchanged pleasantries. I messaged her two days later, and I am fairly certain that I’ve been effectively ghosted.

Prior to that, I actually decided to do what I always say I want to do, be bold and daring, and I asked out an acquaintance on a date…via Facebook Messenger, which is our primary mode of communication anyway, and I thought it was effectively non-confrontational. I explained my interest, and if the interest wasn’t mutual (I can never tell if it is mutual) that it was cool, and it was nothing to be awkward over. The young lady effectively ignored the message, which in my opinion is the most gangster move I’ve faced in this new decade of my life.

Fuck even saying no, I’m just gonna act like his ass didn’t even ask a question.

That’s hella gangster. Let us all offer a head nod and props on that shit.

But I felt the loneliness of singledom become extra pressing on Christmas. I mean…who wants to be single forever? I wanna wear ridiculous matching shirts and look all cute in front of a gawdy tree. Maybe snuggle under a blanket listening to the classics and sipping hot chocolate.

I was chatting with a newly single friend today, and I offered her a small smack of truth:

“It’s rough as fuck out here. Save yourself the trouble and start sleeping with someone you know. At least you’ll be able to avoid the shenanigans out here in these streets!”

Shenanigans galore…and that is not a new thing with Covid-19…these streets have been the domain of shenanigans for years now. At this juncture, I debate on whether I should wait for the post-covid divorce fall out and see how that changes things.

So, fellow singles out there, have you felt yourself put a little extra effort into the potential partner hunt this holiday season, or is it just me? Let me know down in the comments. Let’s commiserate over our failures together.

On the bright side, any reticence towards rejection is once again completely gone. I feel like I’m 20 again! Holla!

Cover photo by Jamez Picard on Unsplash