Sex Toys and Insecurity

My mind is a constant stew of thoughts, and I am always feeding the concoction with a variety of stimuli, be it music, movies, podcasts and Ted Talks. My friends can attest that this hodge podge of thought often comes forth by tying things they say to weird movie references.My mind often ties isolated ideas and thoughts together, and often times those connections result in ideas for blogs, or podcasts, or videos, or a smattering of other things that I wish I had more time to indulge in.That's exactly what happened over the last 2 days, which has brought me to talk about yes...sex toys, and insecurity, and let me say that all names have been changed to protect the innocent.This morning, while scrolling through Facebook, I saw an article that caught my eye;

The Satisfying Joy of Sending Platonic Nudes to Your Friends

While the article, which you should read, is about a young lady who exchanges nudes with her platonic female friends, there were alot of aspects of the article that I could relate to.  The article made me chuckle because initially I thought, "Is that a thing?" My next thought was that I've been doing that for years.However, my platonic friends have been of the opposite sex.  Currently, I have two  friends in particular that I exchange the occasional nude photo with.  Neither live here in Chicago, and both actually happen to be married.  And yes, their husbands both know that they exchange photos with me.  If that caused your eyebrows to raise, you need to get out more.But I could relate to a lot of what this author talked about in her motivations for sending nudes to platonic friends.  It's empowering in some ways.  My friends and I are supportive of each other.  They know that I accept them wholeheartedly, and they do the same for me. It's nice to hear someone compliment your body, ya know?Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm very open about my sexuality.  Sex isn't, to me, some amazing sacred bond between two people forged on a hilltop amidst unicorns and rainbows...it's sex.  Most of it is for pleasure. All of my sex is for pleasure.  And I enjoy it.  Case closed.One quote from the article that particularly caught my eye was this one:

I send my friends nudes as if to say, "Hey, look at my body, it's here, and it exists, and it's sexy— even when it hasn't had sex in forever and probably won't for forever longer, but that's fine, it's fine, I'm fine, ok? *nervous humming*"

Get out of my head Maria! She nailed it right on the head with that one.Now, the same day I saw this article, I started re-listening to The Savage Lovecast. If you don't listen to Dan Savage, you are missing out.  I really enjoy his podcast.  It's interesting, and informative, and yes, it's sexy.I've talked about Dan Savage on more than one occasion.  If you don't know who he is, google him.  Also, he's a Northwestern boy.  How proud they must be.But on a recent episode, there was a caller whose boyfriend seemed to have an issue when she mentioned wanting to introduce sex toys into their lovemaking.  He responded that he would only include a sex toy if it was a new one, and not any of the old ones that she'd used with previous lovers.Now, that request would be reasonable if any of the sex toys were going into him. I wouldn't use a sex toy on different lovers, even if it had been sterilized, which is why I don't own any sex toys.  However, since the toys were going into her, what does it really matter?  He was going to use "the same pussy her previous lovers had used" (Dan's words, not mine)...what's the big deal? And let me tell you, good sex toys aren't cheap!Dan figured that this was simply a way for the guy to circumvent including the sex toys at all, and thought the response would simply make the request moot.So, my stewy mind wrapped all of this together with a conversation I had the other night with one of the friends that I exchange photos with.  She recently sent me a picture of a new dildo she bought.  It was big.  I mean, really big.  Like forearm length plus some, with girth.She was super excited to use it with her husband, and to video tape the event as well.  They exchange pics and vids with couples, and may or may not dabble with posting videos on a sex site or two.Well, she got more than she bargained for when she took this extremely large dildo.  Her husband basically became extremely insecure, about his size, etc...and that discomfort turned into anger, that pivoted into all kinds of directions. While she was having fun with a big pink toy, I imagine he was picturing a big black dick.Yes...he fell victim to the worst of sexual tropes:  Penis envy of the mythical gargantuan-schlonged black man.As she basically portrayed it, he became emasculated, and then lashed out by accusing her of craving large black penises, mine included.  I found this both mildly comical, a bit disconcerting, and ultimately was left asking, "is this too a thing?"Do men really get worried that their wife is constantly craving big(ger) penises, and simply biding their time until Lexington Steele comes along and whisks them away?  I mean, I'll admit much like Kanye (much to my dismay) I too have indulged in the occasional "Blacked" video.  If you don't know what that is, it's basically videos of blond and green eyed good girls going crazy over big black men.I found myself cackling over this idea for some time, but I also feel bad that his imagination got the best of him in this situation.  I encouraged her to definitely reassure him. While I have never been married, I have seen from a safe distance that insecurity have sunk many a ship.Insecurity is a disease, similar to cancer, that writhes, tumbles, and deteriorates beneath the surface until it's too late.  You gotta nip it in the bud.And there you have it.  A tale of nude photos, sex toys, and insecurity.Have you ever sent a nude photo to a platonic friend? Have you ever had a significant other freak out over a sex toy? Am I the only one in this town living la vida loca? I'd love to hear all of your thoughts in the comment section below, or if you're too scurred to comment down there, email me by hitting the Contact Me tab above! Step 2, if you liked what you read here, SHARE IT WITH OTHERS!!!  Also, be sure to know every time I post a new entry by subscribing!  Also, you can check out Reflections of a Chicago Life on Facebook. I post a lot of articles and we can have some wicked discussions on there. Be sure to click "Like". You can also check me out on Twitter, and see all the things I see around the city on Instagram, and it still bears repeating...it's important to have STANDARDS!!This post was created on an HP Pavilion x360