A Few Random Thoughts on the Events That Unfurled At The Oscars

So many thoughts swirling in my head this morning. One of the biggest, obviously is the events that unfurled at the Oscars last night. I was not watching the event, I haven't watched awards shows in years. I think they are often out of touch personally.

However, I am intrigued, and dismayed, at many of the reactions to the exchange between Will Smith and Chris Rock. I mean the less than 2 minute exchange has so many dimensions to it. There is the history of Rock making the Smith family the butt of jokes at the Oscars specifically. There is the fact that Jada decided to cut her hair due to a medical condition. There is the dimension that Chris Rock has never been one to shy away from a controversial joke. Also, we don't know whether he knew about Jada's alopecia (I personally did not) or if he even wrote the joke (there are writers in the back of such events who write some of these jokes and dialogue).

However, it seems that a lot of people seem to think it's ok to resort to violence when one finds themself offended. As someone who has worked in violence prevention for close to a decade now, I'm thoroughly intrigued, miffed, and saddened. I mean, I am a war veteran with 12 years of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu experience. If you tell me that violence is how we'll henceforth choose to settle verbal disagreement, I mean, that's fine. That's nothing to me. I got a list of people I'd love to smack for offenses and affronts...but, I have to acknowledge that is also part of the problem that plagues the city that I love so much, no?

And we constantly have to stop, reflect and ask ourselves, is that the society we want to live in? I mean, yes, I jest as much as anyone that you should punch a nazi or stomp a proud boy (and yes, I know even those jokes can be in bad taste), but you say an off color joke and now an acceptable retort is battery? And perhaps if I talk about how "love" drove me to it, that makes it ok? I can't speak for anyone else, but I've heard many an abuser speak of love as a driving force in the violence they used to justify a means. That whole line of thinking just leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and a bad feeling in my gut. Perhaps I'm just looking at it from the wrong perspective.

I did however see a Twitter post this morning that definitely made me stop and think. It said simply, “Stand up for the women in your life by not normalizing violence.” Source: Jena Friedman

As a father of two teenage girls, that one resonates so loudly with me. I don’t ever want them to think that radical love has anything to do with a fist.

Also, as a side note, please let me say that I think the absolute world of Jada Pinkett Smith. I had the pleasure to meet her many years ago when she was touring with her band Wicked Wisdom. I had the opportunity to do a signing before one of those shows, and I have maintained that anytime I’ve seen her on TV has never done her beauty, both internal and external, justice. Not only is she a beautiful woman, but a strong woman. I love the work she has done over the past few years particularly about opening dialogues around a plethora of topics, many of which seem to be taboo in our society. In all of that, I also don’t think she is a woman who needs her “honor” defended. I imagine she can do that well enough on her own.

Whew! How things have changed. I feel like this is one of those moments that Joni Mitchell sang about, when she asked Johnny how he traded the fiddle for the drum.

I'm no cultural trend setter, just a follower. All I'll ask is that y'all keep this same energy when you yourself get smacked sideways for an errant look or personal affront.

What are your thoughts on the slap heard around the world? Let me know down in the comments.