Zac Stacy and the Horror of Domestic Abuse

My mind is always connecting dots, which I suppose is a good thing. My mind will weave fabrics between thoughts and ideas that in of themselves are completely unrelated. Perhaps that is my superpower.

But something that has been on my mind intermittently all day has been these videos of Zac Stacy brutalizing his ex that have been floating around on the internet.

I will neither demean you or myself by sharing any of the videos. I also will not encourage you to go find it. It’s ugly. Exceptionally ugly. In short, Stacy assaults and batters his ex-girlfriend for minutes. In the video, despite his incorrigible behavior, as many commented, what is immediately noticeable is that the young woman being victimized in the video remains completely calm, even while being struck multiple times by a former NFL player, who still appears to be in peak physical conditioning, or while literally being thrown across the room. She maintains a calm, soothing speaking voice. She even asks him to stop hitting her with her child sitting less that 2 feet away. You can immediately recognize that this isn’t the first time this has happened. This is old hand. She’s been here before.

I have no patience for domestic abuse. It just disgusts me, and I find myself thinking if my Jiu Jitsu would stand up against an NFL running back. Even if it didn't, I wish I could transport myself to that time and place. It's infuriating.

But from there, my mind wanders to a song by Sir The Baptist, a rapper from Chicago whom I’ve been a fan of for the past few years. I've seen him perform the gospel song he co-wrote Deliver Me (This is My Exodus) live several times. In one of those performances (and also on the album) he described the inspiration behind the song:

"I remember my sister Mary

Would get beat by husband who was the deacon in the church

And the whole church knew

But no one would say anything

But I remember so clearly she was in the kitchen washing dishes and she would encourage herself, quietly because she didn't want to start anything she'll say"

"Lord
Deliver me
'Cause all he seem to do is, hurt me

In a live performance of that song for Chicago’s own Sound Opinions, he adds to that synopsis,

“Everyone in the church knew. My father was the pastor, and he knew, but no one said anything. I think he paid a good offering.”

So sad. So unfortunate. No one should have to live that way, but unfortunately, we know that so many do. Domestic abuse numbers rose worldwide, as Covid-19 created the perfect conditions for domestic abuse to flounder, and in many cases become more severe and unfortunately, deadly.

I wish I had something profound to share on this topic, but I don’t. I can however, share information for anyone who may need it, to extricate themself from a bad situation, or for someone who may know someone in a situation that they can’t escape from.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
Call: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
Text: Text “START” to 88788
Live chat is available at the website

I suppose all we can sometimes do for our brothers and sisters is to let them know they are not alone, and that we will extend ourselves to the ends of what we are capable to help them.

If you know of additional resources, please share them down in the comments.

Thumbnail photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash